sleeping is a really obnoxious thing that i love

lately i've been having these bizarre intrusive dreams about abhorrent shit (usually sexual) that are horrible. don't even know where they came from.

and then sleeping is so difficult because everytime i go to lie down my pillows have to be arranged in a certain way and i have to layer my blankets in a very particular way

that's mainly for the purpose of sensory comfort, like the feeling of something being weighted on me

dunno y, its been a thing since i was a kid

but i also have to make sure that it's not too suffocating or hot, very very strange