today as i was taking a bath i looked at myself in the water

i've got a weird body

i'm all bony and skinny (i can feel my collarbones and ribs and spine) but my gut bulges out and its rather grotesque

it's not noticable, like if i were some 45 year old alcoholic old man with a beer belly but (to me) its apparent and it makes me feel gross

i took like two laxatives today just to balance it out and i'm feeling a little bit better 

and then i thought about my internal self

i looked at the green veins running up my arms over my torso and thought of the organs inside of me

how they keep me alive and whatnot

if i were to donate them i think they'd be pretty dissatisfied with my stomach

i feel like mine is scarily small

it;s just weird to me how humans have all of these internal systems like little railways inside of them. chugga chugga choo choo here comes some red blood cells choo chooo

it would be kinda cool if someone performed surgery on me and i got to watch (under anaesthesia of course)