1:15 am let's see how fast i finish typing this out and organizing my thoughts

die antwoord has some of the most pleasing music around, srsly. (i feel like my autism should be a factor in determining if i have good choice.)

baby's on fire has such a catchy hook and instrumental. yolandi's voice is so addictive and her accent is so fun to listen to, especially when she's rapping in that first verse (i especially love how she says mudafuka lol)

her high pitched voice and accent are just pleasing. combine that with the absolute earworm that is their instrumentals and the rhythm of the song and you get a very pleased aspie

finished 1:20

 i'm on a jack off jill binge right now don't bother me

i really love both sexless demons and scars and clear hearts grey flowers (and cannibal songbook/covetous creature/humid teenage mediocrity but those are demos/remixes)

as for sds i really love the rawness and unbridled aggression of jessicka's vocals, it seems like on every song there's a screaming bit and a lot of creepy-cute lyrics ("if you wanted, did you never want for more? the girlscout fell from grace") and jessicka's squeaky, childlike voice. and then there's times where i can't take jack off jill seriously and this is coming from basically their target demographic (teen girl) with songs like french kiss the elderly, where the lyrics are so overly edgy that it kind of embarasses me to listen to 

i feel like chgf has a more matured and refined sound, as there's a bit of a break in fast-paced instrumentation and screeching (which i don't mind, but when listening to sds it gets a little monotonous) and better lyrics (think "i can't exist anymore 'till i destroy you, i hate everyone, don't know what to do" vs "i can change, survey the damage, kill the narcissist wih his reflection 'till tomorrow")

and then overall i just like their guitar riffs, basslines (especially on chgf) and jessicka's vocals and screams

tldr; jacking off your jill is no easy task

 i'm in love with the world

through the eyes of a girl

 music that made me 

10-11

gorillaz - demon days

daft punk - homework

daft punk - discovery

daft punk - human after all

panic! at the disco - afycso

panic! at the disco - pretty odd

panic! at the disco - vices and virtues

12-14

fall out boy - entire discography (excl. smfsd, mania, ab/ap)

pierce the veil - collide with the sky

the academy is... - almost here

gym class heroes - papercut chronicles

gym class heroes - as cruel as schoolchildren 

my chemical romance - bullets

my chemical romance - three cheers

my chemical romance - black parade

streetlight manifesto - everything went numb

streetlight manifesto - keasbey nights

reel big fish - cheer up

big d and the kids table - strictly rude

 my boyfriend thinks i'm cooler than him for some reason

it's the end of the school year (summer) and i'm debating on getting a bass guitar

i would love to since ive been wanting to play bass since middleschool

which wasn't really all that long ago since i'm entering my junior year soon buuut

i;m going on a bit of a nostalgia binge currently

i'm listening to viva la cobra by cobra starship (yes, the electropop 2000s cobra starship) and one day robots will cry incites a deep feeling of longing in my heart 

i remember listening to this band and so many others on the decaydance record label only a few years ago (feeling nostalgia for 3-4 years ago lol) which is a long time for me

obviously to an adult thats the equivalent of a second but for me, as a youth that's ever-changing, that's like three to four decades 

even though i feel like i've kinda outgrown cs, i still appreciate and have a soft spot in my heart for their infectious melodies and obnoxious synths (and gabe saporta)

baauauhh

 today as i was taking a bath i looked at myself in the water

i've got a weird body

i'm all bony and skinny (i can feel my collarbones and ribs and spine) but my gut bulges out and its rather grotesque

it's not noticable, like if i were some 45 year old alcoholic old man with a beer belly but (to me) its apparent and it makes me feel gross

i took like two laxatives today just to balance it out and i'm feeling a little bit better 

and then i thought about my internal self

i looked at the green veins running up my arms over my torso and thought of the organs inside of me

how they keep me alive and whatnot

if i were to donate them i think they'd be pretty dissatisfied with my stomach

i feel like mine is scarily small

it;s just weird to me how humans have all of these internal systems like little railways inside of them. chugga chugga choo choo here comes some red blood cells choo chooo

it would be kinda cool if someone performed surgery on me and i got to watch (under anaesthesia of course)