i dont know why i feel so damn irritable and disgusted with myseflf like im just gonna explode. maybe this is because i was scrolling social media and a marilyn manson song happened to come up and i heard it and now the universe is punishingme for it but maybe i'm invoking it myself becausei keep saying thats hwtas gonna happen and then it happens so maybe if i listen to more affirmations and pray more and then affirm to myself that im safe and no oneis gonna punish me because everything works in my favor and i will always win then maybe i wont be as angry and freaked out and weird and fucked up i wish i werent like this and that i didnt have these thoughts adn my brain and i were normal and could cope with stuff and if i didnt see some vaguely worded post on the internet that im sure was about me that set me off so terribly and i wish i wasnt so miserable and angry and worried and wrong always and that i Knew more even though i do because i am probably divinely blessed which is very likely and thats maybe why the universe and god keeps makingme sad and angry and weird and wantign to scratch off my skin becasue ill always return from it with some divine knwolege on how to fix stuff and that th e universe sways towards me and i am safe and everyhting wll work in my favor and i wont feel so humiliated in school and slow and weird and wrong and that the universe and god will bless me soon if i just stop thinking so negatively and if i just affirm and bless myself and think about good stuff and listen to more affirmations and clear my head