YELLOWJACKETS NEW SEASON ON VALENTINES DAY !!!!!!!!!!!!

 ginger snaps sketch by yours truly. brigitte is anguished because i did not finish her.

 new post. i've got a lot to say but i can't exactly connect or expand my thoughts and type them as from now we are enemies is blaring in my ears. ive updated my listography. i'm probably gonna go deaf by 25. oh well. 

********LISTENLISTENLISTEN**********

composer but never composed, singing the symphonies of the overdosed

 october funtimes (highlights)

- listened to manson w/o being divinely punished

- wrote dope essays (94% and 96%)

- got to wear edward scissorhands costume

- went trick or treating for the first time since i was a child

- smoked for the first time

- hung out at the bowling alley and played music

- enjoyed humorous evening with boyfriend at wendy's

- wore fun clothes

- went thrifting

- made wine and drank it (delightful)

- had fun and experienced luck on a magnified scale

- mother apologized to me as i cried in her arms

 i'm afraid for what's going to happen over the next four years. i'll be 20-21 by the time his presidency ends and that's unfathomable to me

how could we let fascism win again

finished shout by laurie halse anderson the other day. it was excellent. shout is anderson's memoir, told through poetry. she's really great at conveying emotion and events in only a few lines of prose. i appreciate authors such as herself, writing stories for the melindas of the world. growing up in the seventies, there obviously wasn't much for adolescents in terms of sexual education and mental wellness other than to wear pads and to use condoms. her own mother didn't even explain menstruation to her, just handed laurie a box of tampons.

speak was the first of many (catalyst, wintergirls, twisted) works of hers that i read. as an isolated, lonely thirteen year old, melinda spoke to me (pun fully intended). during the many conferences of lha regarding speak, she's spoken about the importance of conversations around consent and sexual awareness in teens and of today's youth. as she outlined in shout, she's had many teens come to her about their own experiences of assault or general feelings of isolation.

god i cant express how important and valuable it is that there is an author writing about the multitude of problems young people face. speak was published in 1999 and resonates with me and so many others currently. it is necessary for there to be a dialogue surrounding mental health and sexual assault that isn't in hushed tones or adults trying to censor books that teens NEED to hear. there's definitely someone out there who realized something happened to them because they've read speak/wintergirls/twisted/catalyst. 

laurie halse anderson writes for the girls you know that don't speak in class and spend their free periods in the library.

laurie halse anderson writes for the boys that are pressured by their friends into getting with a girl.

laurie halse anderson writes for the teens self medicating with substances to cope with something that's happened to them.

and for that, i applaud laurie halse anderson.

 can't believe that i went a single month without bitching about something or typing unnecessarily long posts about random bullshit that noone cares about except me

started university classes in august, so that's a pretty cool milestone. it's been this big deal that's been hyped up for the past five or so years of my life, and it turned out to be a big deal. having to walk on-campus in platform shoes is no joke. commuting across campus, whether it is to the student union, to chemistry class, to english, etc., my feet must suffer. that may or not be due to me wearing platform shoes with full knowledge that i have to walk a significant distance on/off campus but whatever.....

highlights of august:

- getting back into fall out boy

- receiving compliments on my outfit choices

- i am a simple lady, customizing my character brings me immense joy

- wearing striped socks

- talking to my buddies on the interwebz

- seeing lady in crywank shirt at event on campus. she is cool

- complimenting lady in mellon collie shirt at vending machine

- white frat boys assuring me that i could join the fraternity despite not being a frat boy

- white (possibly conservative, given the american flag being displayed on their fraternity cutie mark or whatever) frat boys talking to me about how "my heart is the worst kind of weapon" was also their favorite fall out boy song and that they've "heard it on tiktok"

- one of the frat boys allegedly saying that i was "hot" according to another frat boy (upon consulting me for the role of sweetheart)

- wearing a mesh shirt

- meeting coolguy at aforementioned event on campus, he had a battle royale tattoo and was a fan of fall out boy and rammstein

- getting a smashing pumpkins shirt

- win

future cool highlights as of today:

- getting to jam with and hangout with my boyfriend and our college friend (who will teach me bass and make him into a beautiful rhythm guitarist)

- getting $100 randomly from my mom's boyfriend

- getting to hangout with my boyfriend saturday

- patrick stump funny face stamp